Fiamthu- an tia lawm

Mi pakhat pawh kha a feminist ruh ve tiah tiah khawp mai a. English thumal ‘woman’ leh ‘ female’ ah te hian ‘man’ ‘male’ tih a la tel a vang hian a lungawi thei tlatlo, thumal siamthat kha a duh ta tlat a. 'Woman/women' pawh ‘Wo’ tih chiah hman a, ‘female’ ah pawh ‘fe’, 'humankind' pawh 'hukind' chuan 'human-being' pawh 'hu-being' ti a thlak a duh tlat an tih chu. hahaha

Different Versions of My Name

My grandma, who named me, would have never thought of my name to have different versions of spelling when she named me. Yeah...it does.... My friends, a part from my mizo-mates, who call me ‘Hruaii’ do not always bother to know the right spelling and they often have slightly different versions of their own. I actually like them as they are, ‘cause they are dearly written as it is heard. Each has different value. Here are some of which I could remember:

Versions - Persons (who write)

Choi - Moa

Hrauii - Anupriya

Rhuaii - Atale, Avene & Avalu

Shrauii - Rupa Kuamri Devi

Shrayii - Grace &wanda

Shres - Ricky

Sluali - Fanci Dora

Soi/Tsoi - Chitananda

Valnal - Nana & Aien
(for vanlal)

Out of nowhere, one of my lecturers calls me ‘PUII’. I don’t really know what makes her call me by that name; I don’t bother to know it either as long as she favours so.

KEIMAH ZAWK A LO NI

Han ti ve phong ila, keini kristian mizo thalai phailam a awm tan chuan kar khatah vawikhat chiah Biak In-a kalna hun kan nei a. Kan inkhawmna hun leh member dangte nena inhmuhna hun kan neih ve theih hunte a tlem hle mai. A lan danah chuan he kan hun tlem leh reilote chung na na na hi chu bawhpelh loh hram duh teuh awm tak kan ni hlawm a. Amaherawh chu, inti teh ang, inkhawm hi member tam ai hian kan tlem tlat thin, chumai nilovin inkhawm chhun thin te pawh kan phurna a tlem tual tualin kan tlem hret hret ni in a lang.

Hnam dang zing/ram danga awm kan ni a, thlarau nun pawh a tho lo hle thin in ka hria. Ka lo hmuh leh thlir ve dan mai mai chuan, tu huatthu ni suh se, han in ti hnum a, thlarau nun han intichak leh tu tur hi kan awm chuang biklo riau te hian ka hmu thin. Hyderabad-a ka chhuk tirh lam phei kha chuan phur em em in ka’n va inkhawm ve thin a, amaherawh chu ka phurna te chu a reh tial tial a, kan han awm rei leh deuhva, chakna pakhatmah hi ka nei tawh lo, ti ila ka sawisual awm love. Engatinge niang aw? Eng hian nge min mawlh a, min ti phur lo ta em em tu tih pawh hriat thiam a har thin hle. Han ti dawt ila, tumah insawi chhan chuang lovin, a ro a ni tawp mai. Keimah kha ka ro zawk pawh chu a ni ngei ang. Mahse, hmun danga ka awm ve thinna-ah pawh hetiang em hi chu ka ni ngai bik lova sin le. Kan phur reng e chu ka ti thei lo, mahse, inkhawm chak ngawih ngawih chung pawh a hostel atanga kan chhuah theih loh chang lah a tam. Hetah mahni duh leh duh lovah a in nghat tawh a, hostel dan te’n min phuar tawh lova, mahse ‘engvangin nge ka phur tak meuh lohva inkhawmte ka lo thulh tak fo aw’ tih te ka in zawt fo thin.

Thil chi hrang hrang min zir tir a lo ni reng a. Ringtu tan chuan phur lai chauhva inkhawm tur kan ni lo. Tih hram hram nun neih te a lo pawimawh zia te min hriat chhuah tir a. Mihring ve mai nih hi chuan chauh change chu kan nei ngei ang. Ka thianpa pakhat thu min hrilh hi dik ka ti em em, “You are closer to God ... when you realize you need Him". Tichuan, ka inkhawm nachhan hi midang vang em ni lo ni a, ‘midang nun a hmuh tur kan neih loh vang mai a inkhawm te thulh tur ka lo nih aw’, tih te min hriat chhuah tir zawk a. Kohhran chu intichak tawn tur chu kan ni ngei mai, amaherawh chu midang nun atang chauhva intuai thar kan tum chuan kan ti fuh lo fo ngei ang. Midang nun thlir hmasa lova mahni zawk in en fo hi a pawimawh a ni tih te min ngaihtuah chhuah tir a. Ka thlarau nun chawm tur chuan keimah ngei pawhin ka thawh ve a ngai a, phur loh lai pawh a tih hram hram a, keimah leh Pathian inkar atan chauh pawhin inkhawm te kal thin ila ka hlawkpui zawk ngei ang. Chutichuan ‘keimah leh Pathian’ inkar a that chuan midangte pawhin ka nunah ei tur an lo nei dawn zawk a lo ni.

PAROXYSM

Effusion? Agony? Ineffable...rhapsodic....I can’t find the right word to describe how I felt right that moment. No, it wasn’t for a moment but seemed rather for the rest of the day or may be until I got another sleep. I’m not sure I welcome that kinda stuffs ‘cause it always make me feel that way. It wasn’t for once but always so.

Would I feel the same way if I hadn’t let you go?

Would it make sense if You knew how I feel now?

No, No, No, it doesn’t matter now,

‘Cause nothing really matters to you, I suppose so.

Albeit the memories of your face still sear me downright.

Indeed, I would love to see your face once more;

Yes, could it be hallucination or something real

I’m pretty sure the cyclic emotion would persist though.

Where Have You Gone?

Tears upon the cheeks

A note in the hands

Staring at the writings

Standing there stunned

I realised that time truly flies

Even if I wish for thousand times

Time would neither come back

Nor would I ever go back to the past.

If this is what Life brings,

When will I ever learn to be strong?

“You are gonna miss me when you flip through it

And this is what matters most....”

Yes, you are right my friend,

You are truly right.

How I wish I could go back

To the time when we were out of fear,

The time when we were together!

I remember we used to be naughty

Out of worries, just like that

Where have you gone?

FAREWELL

Time does fly. Seems like it was just a week ago the day that I put my feet on Hyderabad soil, where I was an alien. Looking back on those clueless days of a beginner, it sounds rather absurd. Everything was new, may it be people around me, the way they spoke, the type of food I was offered, or the order of time for almost every schedule.

I still remember the first time I heard the name ‘Gops’. I was wondering what or where was that so called ‘Gops’ when I was told to have meet other Mizos; seniors and batch-mates. Indeed they all were new to me but for an old friend. There it went the first night at Gops where I was so irritated by a swarm of mosquitoes and the chit-chats which I couldn’t follow. Being so sleepy, I had to force myself sat there silent ‘cause I needed to adjust myself adapt the new life-style. I also remember those great deeds my seniors and other new friends have done for me. They may look small and nothing to them yet, they weren’t small for a helpless girl. Indeed, they were great and how kind of them to offer helping hands whenever I was in need. Those days-out, hiking or trekking times were all fun and always sound exciting for a fresh and adventurous person. I know they are always thoughtful. There were times I pestered them with my small problems but I never notice a long-face. I know they are always kind.

Now I am here counting few more days ahead. Having great times with the ‘Atheuneulo’ and struggling side by side with our hectic schedule of classes and internals, I hardly realize bidding farewell to the campus-life is only few days away. I come to admit that two years just fly. Okay, whenever I may be leaving, things I have been learning are imprinted and would always help me face my future-world.