Saturday, November 11, 2017

These Scars Remind me of You

I bear scars of medical surgery at different parts of my body. Smaller or bigger, they look nasty and disgusting for others to see. I was always worried about having a prominent scar after the latest surgery, that I often asked the doctors who did dressing every alternate days if it was gonna leave a big scar. They always told me not to worry. However, just as I was afraid, due to complications & re-sutures, it developed into a big scar (keloids). At first I was little upset, so I tried my best to get rid of it. I took injections and ointments at high costs but to not much affect. 

I then realized the significance of these scars I bear. They remind me of the life given back to me, the love of the God, His mercy upon me. I see His love. He loves me so much that He gives me these scars; so that I will always remember Him, how much He loves me, His loyalty and His faithfulness. Like these scars never leave me, I know He never leaves me. As much as the scars are embedded on my body, no matter how much I try to get rid of them, the Love of God always lives in me. This is just the body He gives me to take care of, it's not mine, it's His and He can do whatever He wants to with this body. So, I am never to castigate or chide but to take good care of it. I now can take the pride in having these scars, than disgusting them. 

I didn't mind if i had died there. But if i had, His purpose might haven't been fulfilled.

[I wrote this note exactly three years ago. This morning I stumble onto this particular note from my journal. I thought I had posted it here on my blog. I looked up and I saw I hadn't. So, here it is.]


Saturday, August 22, 2015

Lord I Pray!

Lord I know You always answer my prayers.
You know my heart's desire
If they are against Your will
Please destroy them
And give me the strength I need to go on!
I pray that the people I love be protected,
May they find the truth, happiness and joy in having You.
Give them the courage to overcome the voices of temptations!
You know that all I want for them is they stay happy
Having the life of having You Lord!
I pray that I be the blessings not the burden for them.

            Bless my prayer

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Just Pondering Over 'PROMISES"

I came across a Friendship Card which says that 'he' will be there with 'her' no matter what comes in Life. I'm reflecting on the fact that how life changes with time and those words, consoling words or should I say promising words, became nothing more than just line of words. It doesn't mean that we didn't mean them when we said or gave those words. Somehow life takes us to the unexplored world which turns us to become different person. Life goes on, people change, promises become empty words. 

I used to think its better never to give such words to a friend or a lover because life takes us to different world and such words could only hurt us, disappoint us, upset us when facing the fact that those words are not kept by the one who gave us. They just don't remember or they don't want to? But now I think its always best to give the best at a moment, from our heart if we really mean it. When we couldn't keep it, blame it on LIFE ?. Its better to live at present. That's the best remedy for my disappointment over empty promises. 

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

'Peace in my Troubled Sea'

Many questions run in my head. They don’t stop, but keep running. Why am I still alive, when I could have been dead, many times? I am anxious, how am I to do with my life? Should I stop the fight? Or should I give another shot? The job, I have been studying for, worried me. We all are going to die one day, and on and after that day, what’s all these for? They ain’t going with us. It’s all futile. So, why fight the fight if they mean nothing to eternity? The qualifications, the certificates, even the most precious thing we held dear wouldn’t save us from that day. I feel so pointless. All these, because I lean on my own understanding, when Proverbs (3:5-6) tells us not to lean on our own understanding, but to trust in the Lord with all our heart, to acknowledge Him that He will make our path straight. There’s a soft voice telling me that there is a purpose, a reason behind every trouble, behind my life, a reason to live. I just don’t know the reason yet. The same voice tells me to keep going, and to cherish every moment I have been given pricelessly. There are people who beg for their lives to save, and there are people who beg for letting go of their dear life, who don’t see the point of living another second. Life knocks me off my feet and there I am on my knees, beseeching Him to speak to me. And once again He let me see how He never left my side, through the valley of death, through life’s troubles; He carried me, through it all. He let me feel He is the ‘peace in my troubled sea’. I, once again see the pointlessness in worry about life, which is beyond my control but just to trust in Him.  “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matt 6:33).  

Saturday, March 22, 2014

As I Stretch Through

I have been visiting villages of Andhra Pradesh and few North East Karnataka for the past months (to be mentioned about 50+ villages). The more I visited the more I came to realize our differences. There are certain things which I admire about their habit and way of living, which I thought it would strengthen our unity as brothers and sisters. At the same time there are certain things which bother me too. I don't know it’s only us who face the same situation or others too, there are few points I like to share from my experience and observation.

1) They love and care for each other. They don't eat alone. They offer whatever they are eating to the person next to them or nearby, if even if they are strangers. 
2) They are kind. They always make time for others who need help. If they are asked, they are always ready and willing to help out and sacrifice their time. 
3) They always want to converse. Ranging from kids to old people, they would initiate conversation. The kids, especially love calling out "aka, aka" (which means 'sister'). They would follow and encircle you around even if they don't get response. 
4) They stare a lot. Right into the face. They stop and stare. They would tell the person next to them to see us (this happens especially among the mothers/women).
5) When they offer food, you have to eat them. It’s an honor to eat someone else's food. It’s some kind of appreciation for each other.
6) It’s a taboo to take certain items like 'salt', 'turmeric' and 'tamarind' in and out of the house at night. (I have no clue whether it’s religious or cultural taboo).

Wherever we go we are very much foreigners to them. They have no idea we are from the same country. I assume even after telling them that we are from Mizoram, they would still think that Mizoram is a foreign country. In our very own country "which country are you from?" is the most frequent question we received and "english, english" is the only passing comment among the villagers. In town, we are 'Chinese' and in metropolitan cities, we are 'Nepalis'. Face matters a lot. However, it’s about time our own country fellow men know that India is rich in ethnicity, and has people of different looks. 

(Note: It doesn't mean I am generalizing the villagers of Andhra Pradesh, but I am just sharing my experiences) 

Wednesday, May 30, 2012


Mt. 16:24-26; Tin, Isuan a zirtir tehnenah, “Tupawhin mi zui a duh chuan mahni hreawm pawisa lovin, a kraws puin mizui rawh se. Tupawh a nun humhim duh apiangin a chan anga; tupawh keimah avangaa nun chan apiangin a humhim ang. Miin khawvel a pumin nei sela, a nun chan sisela, a tan engnge saw tang?”
Mt. 10:38; Tupawh a kraws pua mi zuilo chu, ka mi ni tlak a ni lo.
Lk. 14:27; Tupawh mahni kraws pua mizui lo apiang chu ka zirtir a ni thei lo vang.
Lk. 9:23; Tin, amah vekin, mi zawngzawng hnenah, “Tupawhin mi zui a duh chuan mahni hreawm pawisa lovin, ni tin akraws puin mi zui rawh se.

Bible-a kan hmuh ang khan Isua kanzui loh chuan kan nun kan chan dawn a ni a. Isua zui kan duh chuan Kraws putangai a ni. Kraws pu lo chuan Ami nitlak kan ni lo Isuan a tit lat mai.

1. Kraws in a Entir: Thihna. Isua kha Golgotha a krawspu-a a kal khan, tumahin kraws kha ritphur chhinchhiahna (symbolic of burden) ahan ngai lo. 1st century hunlai khan kraws chuan thil pakhat chiah akawk chu chu ‘thihna’ a ni. A tlawm thei ang ber leh na ber, mihring tuar theihtawp a na thihna, thih dan rapthlak ber ah an ngai a ni.
2. Kraws Pu Awmzia: Tunlai khawvelah chuan kraws pu kanhrilhfiah dan a lo dang ta. Thil hreawm, keimahni tih dikloh leh thuawih lohavanga harsatna, lungngaihna leh manganna kan chunga thleng te, taksa chaklohhrim hrim te, mahni inkhawngaihna (self pity) kan tih ang te, kan nuna kanritphurh te hi kraws pu ang ten kan hrilhfiah a. A dik lo a ni.

Kan sawi tawhangin Isua hunlai khan kraws chuanThihna rapthlak ber a entir a. A chhanchu Rom ho khan misual vawrtawp(convicted criminals) ho kha an mahni khenbehna tur an mahni kraws teuh an puttir thin a ni. An tan chuan ‘kraws put’ awmzia chu an thihna tur hmanrua put a,chutah kalkawngah mi nuihsawh leh endawng an kaltlang a tul thin a ni.
Chuvang chuan“I kraws puin mi zui rawh” Isuan a tih khan a tum tak chu thih leh mi teendawng pawh huam a Amah zui a ni (Lk 9:23). Chutichuan kraws pu awmzia chu‘mahni in that, mahni inphat, mahni in thiat’ (dying to self) tihna a ni. (a) Kraws pute chuan thihna lam an pan thina, an thi thin ang hian nunhlui chu thihsan tur kan ni. (b) Inpumpekna tawp akohna a ni.

3. Krista, Kan Entawn Tur: Isua hnungzuia kraws pu tur chuanAmah Isua atanga inzir kan ngai a. Amah kan entawn a ngai a ni.

(a) A in peknavawrtawp
(b) Tuarnakaltlanga thuawihna sang ber
(c) Kraws-a Athihna chuan chhandamana min pe a. A awmzia chu Chhandamna chu Tuarna-aTihfamkim a ni. Chhandam kan nih tawh chuan Isua anga tuarna kan kaltlang angai a ni.

4. Zuitu Nunkawng: (a) Kawng awlsam a ni lo:- (i)Kalsan, chan neih a ngai (ii) Mahni inphat a ngai (iii) Hmun reh, hmun khawhara ni. Kraws ah khan Isuan, “Ka pa, Ka Pathian engahnge mi kalsa” a ti. (iv)Engkim huam a ngai.
(b) Nunna Veka pe a, hmalam chauh pana kalna a ni.: kraws a A thihna chuan Nuna a hringa,min hmangaih avanga thi a nih avangin a Hmangaihna kan chhan let ve nan amahkan zui a ngai a ni. Amah zui tur chuan kraws put a ngai.

5. A nih leh:
(a) Eng hunah nge kan zui ang? – Nitin, englaipawhin. Lk. 9:23 “mahni hreawm pawisa lovinnitin a kraws puin mi zui rawh se” a ti a ni. Kan nuam tih zawng leh duh zawngte kalsan a tul thin ang. Entirnan, thianza hova thil tih nuam ka ti a ni theiamaherawh chu Kohhran emaw in Pathian hminga inpawl hona a neih lai ang techuan chung kan hun chu kan sacrifice vet e angai ang. Tunlai ah games khelh tekan uarin, facebook hmang uar em ema, hla zir ai a lo facebook te, thawhvelehatanga mahni devotion theihnghlih tak a facebook te games khelh te Kraws putnen chuan a rem lo a ni.
(b) Khawi hmunah nge kan zui ang? – khawihmunah pawh. Hmun ral ti, hmunkhawhar, zahthlak kantihna hmunah te. Kristian Vanram Kawngzawh-a Thlemsama ang mai a thlem kan sama, Lungngaihna Chirhdup kan kal kai theihloh chuan awmzia a awm dawn lo a ni.Kristiana anga Chhungte leh thenrual te pawhin an koh let theih loh, harsatnachi hrang hrang leh thlemna chitinreng pawh kal tlang zel a tul a ni.
(c) Engtinge kan zui ang? - Isua khan a hniam lam panin Vanhmun nuam atanga hmun hreawm ber ‘Luruh hmun’ thlengin ama mihrinna khengbetina Pa thu a zawm angin, keinipawhin a hniam lam panin mahni lam thiat zelin kanzui ang. Inngaitlawm te, tlawm zawka tan te a ngai thin. Entirnan, hmun harsakan tihna-ah te kohna hria chuan khawihmun kilkhawr leh hreawm pawh nise.Sacrifice tur tam tak a awm ang. Nula tlangval inngaihzawnna kawngah pawh inhmangaih te tan chuan engpawh in huam ang hian Isua i hmangaih chuan Atanengpawh i huam a angai ang.
(d) Khawi Hmun Thlenga Zui Tur Nge? – A tawp rat thlengin. Thih thlengin. A tawpa kan chan turnen chuan kan kraws put chu tekhin rual a ni lo a ni. Thupuan 2:10-ah kan hmuhkha “Thih thlengin rinawmin lo awm rawh, tichuan nunna lallukhum ka pe ang che.”Hun hreawm leh khirh kan kal lai pawhin kan lawmman dawn tur enrana kal hramhram a ngai a ni.
Harsatna kan tawh lem loh lai, kannun a kal tluan lai chuan Isua zui chu thil har a ni pawhin a lang lo.Amaherawhchu, Amaha kan inpek tak tak leh tak tak loh chu dinhmun khrih-ah alang chhuak thin a ni lawm ni. Nimahsela, chung hunah pawh chuan Thlamuang takaawm turin mamah zuitu te chu min ti. Isua khan hun harsa leh khirh Amah zuituten an paltlang a ngai tih a hre lawk a thlamuan thu min hnutchhiah a nih kha. “Keiinkhawvel ka ngam ta” Isuan a ti (Joh 16:33).

(P.S. Ka sermon sawi hmasak ber a nia chuvang chuan ka post ve duh hrim hrim)

Thursday, April 26, 2012

For Those Who Are Having PHOBIA, TRYPOPHOBIA

I have a fear of small objects clubbed together. I think I came to know about this kind of fear when I had a bad dream when I was a kid about an insect which moved over my hand and my body. The area where it touched became covered with some kind of shield and clusters. From that onward, whenever I remembered that dream my body became uneasy and began to itch. However I don’t remember it all the time. But when I come across those small insects crawling all together (some people call them ‘Happy family’) I have a sudden irritation. In our campus those kind of insects come out once in a year. The more you try to avoid seeing them, the often you see them. Your eyes will see them even at a corner. I hate it every year when their season comes.

Recently, we discuss about ‘phobias’ and I told my friends about my story and that I don’t know the name given for that kind of phobia. After few days, one of my friends posted it on my Facebook wall the explanation given by a dictionary and the name given to it. I came to know that it resembles my phobia. It is called ‘trypophobia’. From that day, I Google it now and then to see how it is described and to get some suggestion for getting rid of it. However, the more I search, the more I see the pictures and the more I get irritated and get feared. It gets worse every time I see the pictures and see the name. It gets my whole body itchy and I hate it so very much. Most of the people who posted about their stories also seem to experience the same thing that the more they search, the more it gets worse.

I came to a conclusion that if you ever have some kind of fear or irritation or phobias, don’t GOOGLE it, and don’t search for an answer to get rid of it. If you do, you’ll end up like me, getting worse. So, if you don’t want to make it worse, just don’t Google the name anymore. In fact, if you happen to read this from Google there’s no doubt that you have already been Google-ing about trypophobia. I strongly suggest you not to search anything more about it. I just thought it can be the same case like other PHOBIAS too. So stop Google-ing about your phobias.

P.S. I don’t mean to offend the person who told me about the name of my phobia. In fact, I’m glad if this post could help other friends who are looking for some cure for the phobia.